I love you and always have
by reinacuz
Summary: It had all started on Christmas day, that was the day when Alfred had began to show his true feelings towards his one and only true love.


This all started on christmas day, Finland had already delivered the gifts to everyone and, of course, Arthur had decided to invite, or force, his close friends and family over for Christmas dinner. Even I knew that all of this would end badly, Arthur is a terrible cook, even with a boxed recipe he would mess it up. I remember Francis calling me and telling me I should eat before, I can still hear his exact words, "Bonjour, Mathieu! Are you excited for Arthur's little gathering? Even if you are, which I'm not, I suggest eating before hand, that english food he makes is atrocious."

I remember laughing along with him and replying with a simple "Oui, of course I am excited, I hardly ever get to see him, much less Al." After that we had spoken idly for a few more minutes and I decided I should probably get on the road to catch my flight, so I had bid him an au revoir and hung up.

…

After I had landed in Britain, I spent some time wandering around the shops, dinner didn't start until six after all. The town looked quite magical, the snow, the lights, it was all very beautiful, and just lively. I kinda wish I had caught an earlier flight with all of the shopping I did! Anyway, I'm getting off topic Once I had gotten all of my gifts wrapped, I had set off for Arthur's house. I remember how he decorated; cute little santa clauses on the lawn, but that was about it. When I had knocked on the door, I heard him talking with Al. They were arguing. It seems like my dear brother had offered to bring good food, it was a joke, and Arthur had taken it too seriously. He had even lectured him about "respecting his elders" and how he should "thank him for all he has done," when everyone else and I already know that Arthur is the one who overtaxed Alfred and caused most of the main problems. After I had been let in, I recall Alfred embracing me in a bear hug. I also remember Kuma trailing in the door behind me wearing a cute red and green scarf. He really had looked adorable that day, even when he didn't want it on. Francis was already there, wearing a very nice sweater and sitting near the fireplace with a glass of red wine. I had sat next to him and Al had sat next to me. Alfred tried to engage me in conversation, but we didn't have anything in common. It ended up being very awkward, so he went to go grab his gifts for everyone from his rental car.

…

We had a very nice dinner, with actually decent tasting food, apparently Arthur did have some help from Francis, which was unexpected, to all of us. Arthur never did like asking for help, he had always enjoyed being in control. Next, came the exchange of gifts, we were doing secret santa. We all couldn't look when each person brought in their gifts and emptied them on the table, I had gotten extras, because that was only polite, I had left them in the car though. Arthur had gotten a cookbook with extremely simple instructions. The book was meant for an eight year old. He had also received an easy bake oven. We had all shared a laugh. I had known Francis had bought it for him; he told me so a few weeks before Christmas when we decided to do this. Next was Al's turn, I actually remember how perfect he looked that day, he had always, and still does, adore Christmas. He had received a coupon book filled with burger king coupons. I noticed how fake his joy was that day, he loathes burger king. By now, everyone was laughing so hard, Francis even had to resort to normal laughter. He had tried to calm down so hard when he went to open his gift, from me, I had given him a new outfit I knew he would enjoy, it had black pants, a nice light blue dress shirt and a black jacket with a lighter blue tie, I had chosen a size that would hug his body nicely. I really do know my dad. He smiled so much when he opened it and held it out for us all to see. I was next. My gift was wrapped very nicely in newspaper that declared wins for hockey teams I enjoyed, and still do as a matter of fact. When I had opened the gift, I remember feeling my cheeks grow hot. It is a hockey jersey, too big for me, but I had always adored loose clothing. It had said my last name, Williams, on the back and had a big number one on the front and back. Even now I am wearing it. I love it so much. I remember pulling it over my head and when I could see again, everyone was smiling. They had all looked so happy at the time, when we all knew this day, this glorious day, would evaporate like a dream when tomorrow came. But that hadn't stopped us from acting like a real family, something we hadn't done in a very long time. At the end of the night we had taken a lovely family photo. I really do hope that our happy memories wont die.

…

It was weeks later when Al approached me and asked me to hang out with him at his house in New York, I, of course, had happily agreed. I was eager to have fun after not being noticed at the world meeting, which was a few days before Al came. Ivan had sat on me, again. Ugh. I wish people payed more attention, again, I am getting off topic. When I arrived at my brother's, I saw he had actually cleaned up a bit, that was certainly a surprise at the time. We hadn't done much actually. We played a hockey game on his xbox 360, which I was surprised he had. That day was just full of surprises. Then, it was all awkward, I remember how neither of us had said anything for a long time. Then, Al had gotten close. I had felt his breath on my lips. "Al, what're yo-" He had silenced me with a deep and passionate kiss. I was surprised, even more surprised when I kissed back. The moment had felt perfect. Then is was torn away when he separated his soft lips from mine. I had looked at him in utter disbelief. "Al…"

"Mattie, please don't say anything for a moment, okay? I need to get something off my chest."

His voice was frantic at the time, so I hadn't hesitated to agree, "Okay."

"I know I shouldn't be the one to say this, it should be someone else, someone better, but, I love you. More than a brother should. I always have, I don't know why, but you are absolutely perfect in every way… I just… I dont know. I want to be more than just brothers… I wish I could explain my feelings, but I just can't!" He was tugging at his hair and had seemed really conflicted.

"Al… I don't know what to say…" At the time I couldn't return the words, I was simply awestruck. Nobody had ever said something like that to me. I was nervous, really nervous, but now I don't feel that way, even if I still haven't returned those three beautiful words. I mean, how could I? I was still young, and even though that was only last month, I still feel, every time he sees me, which is quite often, just… happy. I guess that is the end of my story for now, Al is calling me, he wants to take me out to dinner. I hope tonight I can say to him how I feel. I have truly fallen in love with him, even in the short time we have been together.

**Author's note:**** Hello! So, this is your beloved writer's sister, she let me use her account to post this since I don't have my own account. This is my first fanfic ever and I'm glad it's CanadaxAmerica, that is my all time otp \(^-^)/**


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